What You Left Behind
by BrownEyedGirl1325
Summary: Daisy, Gatsby, and Tom from the Great Gatsby are thrown into a plot twist, with new names. A new rendition of the beloved F. Scott Fitzgerald's Great Gatsby.


What You Left Behind

The grey silk sheets felt cold as I pressed my body against them. My fingers grazed the sheets as I moved them towards him. I reached my hand out to touch him, but it was like I couldn't. Like, there was a barrier between. I moved an inch closer feeling the bed sink as I did. My head was spinning. It was like the horrible dream that kept my nights hard to bear, and my body hard to breathe. It ended in the same way. I would be in a cold sweat and reaching for something that was clearly not there. When the morning broke I would always question how I could have let it slip away so easily, or why it was so hard to feel loss when it wasn't yours to begin with. The same familiar feeling of numbness crept back as I felt the walls grow cold around me. I looked at his closed eyes, so calm and so steady. I could feel him breathing out as I sunk farther into the bed. Disappearing in the darkness with silent screams of help.

The warmth of the golden sun was the first thing to hit. My green eyes fluttered open catching the light. I was lying on torn and tattered sheets. I eased myself forward to look at the same room I was in the night before. There were chairs in pieces on the ground. The room was black as night and there were traces of ashes everywhere. I looked around in awe and saw that the room was gathering dust as the sunlight streamed in the boarded windows. My body ached as my feet hit the dusty, black streaked ground. I moved towards the door, leaving a trail of footprints behind me. My hand grazed the door. It crumbled at my touch. Flakes of the door seemed to catch the air and float away. I opened the door forcefully. The door gave off a cloud of dust that made it hard to see, but when it cleared it revealed him standing there. His blue eyes locked onto mine. I moved towards him and just like the dust, he was gone. All I saw now was a grand room. Above me was a cracked marble descending staircase. I followed the intricate designs up to the what I thought was a ceiling instead a huge hole to show the sky. A big blue sky streaked with grey. Something caught my eye then. Shimmering on the wall a clock hung. I walked up the stairs and to the clock watching my step as I did. I don't know why I was so fascinated, I'd seen clocks before, but something about this clock pulled me. I brushed off the dust with my white linen glove and uncovered a gold clock. I then heard music and laughter around me. As soon as I stopped touching it all vanished just like him. Everything that was visible was covered in black soot. I discovered that strange as I found my eyes locked with a part of a gold chandelier. Each piece of the glass that dangled from it caught the sunlight. I walk slowly and stood under it. I heard a crunch under my foot and looked down. What I saw was my reflection and shards of glass splashed across the floor. The feeling of unsurity was replaced with all too familiar impression. I closed my eyes and heard a deep low laughter echoing throughout. I opened my eyes to see the source, but no one was there. A breeze came sweeping in and the noise faded. The gentle breeze wrapped around me and tugged at my lavender dress. I walked around feeling as though my body knew this route better than I.

My head was spinning, playing tricks on me. I saw people out on the front lawn dressed in white with servants surrounding them with platters of fruit on gold trays. Some people tipsier than others, some sipping wine daintily. Gossip was hanging on the air. It made my head throb. When I closed my eyes and opened them again I was left with nothing but dead grass and a broken tersest.

"I would be so honored if you would go with me"

"I can't I'm sorry…I'm sorry… I-I-I can't"

I pulled my hand away from his. I heard his voice in my ears. I couldn't breathe. I gathered my dress. I ran. My heart pumping in my chest as a burst of cold air surrounded me. I felt my dress heavy around my ankles. It was snowing. I came to a halt out in the snow. Grasping my jacket for dear life. My deep gasps echoed around me. "I can't" my hushed voice caught the air as flakes swirled around me. I collapsed onto the snow and felt warm tears stream down. His voice came crashing down on me as the wind picked up. I looked up and only saw snow covered branches. He was in the wind he was always in the wind. He could come and go, nothing could make him stay. Not even me.

I felt someone come up behind me. I felt the warmth on my shoulder before I looked. I saw his face. I stood up and touched his face. I could feel the warmth even through my gloves. His eyes on me was just enough to make this alright. He was standing so close I hoped he wouldn't hear what I was thinking of. I could feel my eyes fill with tears again. I blinked them away. My eyes cleared and I drew back crashing down onto the snow It wasn't him.

"Rose"

"Leave me alone"

"Rose"

"Leave me!"

A long sigh then the crunching of the snow as he walked away. I cringed at the way I talked to Sam.

"Wait!"

I yelled after him.

"Wait"

I caught up to him before I even knew what I was doing. There was a silence between what I said and what I thought.

"I would be honored to go with you."

I was startled by the sound of my own voice. Before I could change my mind he came towards me and put his hand on my face. Before I could pull away he kissed me. It was almost good enough to make me forget why I needed to forget him.

There were always lavish parties when Sam takes me. There were roses everywhere. People from money came and went. Gold and silver platters decorated the place from head to toe. People danced like there was no tomorrow. To me everything wasn't a "dream", but rather a cage in which I was stuck in. Sam offered his hand out and I took it. We walked gracefully down some stairs and through big brass double doors. Sounds that were muffled before were as clear as the blue sky in the daytime. The music was playing a lively tune as we entered. It could feel the drum beat through the walls. It was everywhere enclosing me, making it hard for me to breath. Sam leaned down and whispered something in my ear. I glanced up to his short dark hair, and then moved my eyes to meet his brown eyes. I quickly averted my eyes to the ground and nodded to what he said. He pulled me to dance with him. The tune changed to a slow waltz like melody. .2.3.4 It went. My feet felt like they never hit the ground. I leaned closer to rest my head against his chest. I could hear his heartbeat a slow pitter patter. I closed my eyes, and the music seemed to drown away. I focused on his heart beat and how familiar leaning my head on his chest felt. Just like when I was with him. The beating echoed through my head, like a rhythm. Like his heart, but the heart has a language of it's own. It talks in murmurs and short shallow gasps. I can't seem to begin to understand what it is saying. I listen though bum-bum bum-bum. In the rests of beats from Sam's heart I heard voices all around me. From some of the guests in the party. The voices were not so muffled that I couldn't hear, but then again why would I want to hear.

"…. Bold isn't she…."

"I know and I mean such audacity…it was only two months ago **it** happened…"

"She shouldn't be here with him…"

"Who do you think she is fooling…and stringing along Sam… what a reckless girl…"

"…But you know darling, he was everything to her and then it happened…out of the blue just like that…."

"We all knew it was going to happen…I mean they were holding on like a thread…but in the end we never expected"

"She's mad"

After what happened. The phrase stuck in my head like a mantra. They couldn't comprehend what happened, even if they wanted to. The music slowed and the room began to spin. I felt myself pull away from Sam. I heard his voice, but it was so far away. I stumbled off the dance floor and stumbled towards the big glass door. My body hit the door before I could comprehend what was happening. I forced myself to not crumble now as I reached for the door. I pushed against it with all my might, but it wouldn't open. I was trapped. Panic rose as I hit the door not once but twice. I felt a hand reach around me and push it open for me. I burst out onto the balcony. I looked across the water. I breathed slow gasps of air to calm myself. My hand hurt from hitting the door. I took one last breath of air as I gathered myself up and proceeded back to the party. I went back in with a plastered smile across my face.

My footsteps echoed around me as I rounded the party's mansion and down a corridor. The bathroom was lavish, like the house. There were mirrors everywhere. I stared up to look at myself. I started to fix myself, but I heard their voices in my head once more. I could see them in the mirror. Their faces like devils. Before I knew what I was doing I smashed the glass. Shards of glass fell to my feet like the snow falling outside. Beautiful. All the while echoes danced about the room.

"She's mad…"

I clenched the shard of glass in my hand. My hand was so numb that I didn't even feel it dig in until I felt something slitter down my hand. I watched a drop of blood hit the ground. As it sank I sank with it to the floor with my back against the mirror. I closed my eyes. Slowly I opened my eyes and held the shard up to the chandelier light. It glistened and glittered with each turn, as it caught my eye. I lowered the shard to meet me. With my mind racing I brought it down. I watched the blood drip to the floor once more. Drip. Drip. Drip. It made a beat when it splattered to the ground. A beautiful pool of rouge. I lowered the shard to the same place on my wrist and dug it deep splitting the skin deeper. I gasped as the pain radiated through my body. I dug farther and saw rouge cover the shard. My eyes began to blur in and out. I felt my body feel slack then I fell onto the cool ground. My vision went black then back again. A burst of the door. Someone came in then like a gust of wind they came. they pulled me up and dragged me to the sink. I kicked and screamed. They were stronger than anticipated. My arms were flailing. Spots of black covered my eyes. I heard my voice in my ears.

"Let me die! Let me die!-Why won't you let me"

"Rose...please...'"

I could feel my body heave against them. I started to hit anywhere I could to make them release. No luck they didn't budge. I soon felt my body being carried to the sink and the water came rushing out like a waterfall. My vision went back. I felt my body being lifted and I felt a heaviness on my body, and then a warmth all over me. I watched as the color of red stained everything, like the sea creeping over the sand. I could hear a rush in my ears as I mustered up my voice. With my throat burning I managed to say six simple words.

"Why. won't. you. let. me. die?."

Then, just as easily as I slipped into the water. I plunged into darkness.

I slowly started to wake. I could feel someone beside me now their hand gently resting upon mine. My head reeled and I tried to speak, to move, to do anything. My heart started to pound in my ears like the rush of water it roared. I tried to command my eyes to open, yet they disobeyed. I tried once more not getting very far because my eyes went blurry. All I saw was shapes, blobs of white and grey. Moving this way and that. I tried listening to where I was, but all I heard were muffled sounds and beeps. Soon I gave up all together. I started to feel like I was floating, like I was here nor there. I tried then to move my hand. I couldn't. There was something heavy that was lying a top my hand. I tried to see who or what was on my hand only to find a dark shape there. Its head upon…upon…a desk? A table? A bed? I couldn't make up what it was, but whatever I or he or it was laying on was covered in white and green. My head throbbed. My eyes began to feel heavy. I tried hard to keep them open, but soon enough I was meeting the darkness like an old friend.

My ears were the first ones to pick up the voices that surrounded me. Although the noises went in and out I could still pick up pieces of what they were saying.

"…Do you know what happened?"

"No…I mean no not really…She was just in the bathroom covered i-i-in blood"

I could tell for the deep voice that rickshaed through my ears that it was a guy speaking. With my eyes shut I felt a tiny breeze pass over me, then a higher voice.

"Did no one tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Oh dear, the tragedy that happened on July 13"

"No…I mean I heard about it, but I didn't- I didn't realize…I should have...ugh...I was there that night, but I left after...I should have stayed...I should have..."

I heard the scattering of feet. They were different from those of the feet before. Heavy grounded steps. A high pitched noise pierced my ears and I knew from the noise that it was metal against a concrete floor. A loud clattered followed.

"Please madam…Please…tell me"

"I can't it's not my place to tell"

"Please"

"Alright then…I was working that night...for Rose...I was cleaning, they didn't know I was downstairs...and...But I have to tell you the before or else you won't get…ooohh I can't I just…It's not my place"

"Please I need to know for all our sake..."

There was a long pause in between. I could feel a tension in the room, so tight it was almost choking. Then someone broke the tension with a long sigh.

"Alright it began on the 25th of January…Rose had met a gentlemen from Brooklyn…It was as people say 'Love at first sight,' some would say that they moved rather quickly. But they were young and they were in love. They met in a bar, he was with his buddies, I suspect you weren't there, anyway he saw her drinking by herself and he went over and asked if he could take a picture of her. Then just like that she and he were head over heels for each other. They were already planning a wedding after a month of seeing each other…people disapproved."

"Oh no don't put that there…It's the wrong color…yes red and pink roses. Where is Tom?"

It was always like this before weddings. Always the hustling and bustling of everything and everyone. Platters of food, wine, and cheeses were floating around in and out of the kitchen, the polishing of gold plates and glasses.

I walked down the staircase. It was a grand marble staircase that split towards the end. It had a gold clock at the head where the two stairs met in the middle, and a grand chandelier hung from the painted ceiling. I ran my hand down the banister feeling the cool slick marble. I stopped at the end of the stairs and saw him. He was tall, with black hair that always fell in front of his eyes, he was wearing a black suit. Even from the back he took my breath away. I stopped and stared at him, until it felt like I was standing there forever. One of his friends was standing by him a tall, handsome fellow, brown hair, and a long face. I believe his name was Sam. His eyes caught mine then Tom started to turn around slowly. Tom was a photographer for the war, he came back not looking for anything and instead found me. His eyes were the iciest shade of blue, when his eyes were on me it was just enough to make me feel right. I walked towards him and we melted into each other. I rested my head against him and I heard his heart fluttering in his chest. He slipped his hand next to mine and I felt the warmth of his palm in mine. I could hear his soft, but clear voice and the way he smiled down at me. He then took me in his arms and twirled me about. I heard his low childish laugh as he spun me around. I stopped spinning and held him close to me feeling his warmth once more, but there was something different. His body was stiff and there was no emotion. I saw his friends catch mine then fall to the floor. Tom then backed away from me and walked away. Sam following close behind. The room seemed to get colder and less and less comfortable. I shook the small feeling off, and let it not drag me down. Tomorrow we were getting married.

Grey satin sheets on the bed welcomed me with open arms. I was soon accompanied by my husband. The following days before this joyous day were met by cool shoulders from Tom, but I assumed it was pre-wedding jitters. As I lay in bed with him I felt the cool sheets against my bare skin. My heart pitter pattered in my chest as I slid my arms over his bare chest. This was how it was suppose to be I thought. We were a young happy couple in love.

The days went on and on, the previous feeling of coolness was stronger. I went on day by day giving him all my heart only to find in return less than what I gave. It was the same pattern I would do something sweet and I would be met by vast emptiness. The nights were longer and colder. Sometimes he would realize his mistake and come running with sweet murmurs of words of love, but after a while it crumbled and his words went empty and all it meant was sweet nothings. In public we would act normal, but when we got back home it's like he didn't even recognize me. Like I was someone beside him just to take the space. We ate supper in silence only the clinking of the glasses and silverware occupied the atmosphere. When the evening was over he retired to his study and closed the door. There was no more slow dances in the moonlight, stealing kisses, twirling me around, no more, no more, no more.

The distance that grew more and more each day. There were thoughts that spun around in my head that questioned his love to me. I had so much to say to him and yet I couldn't find the words. I didn't know how to tell him I missed him. He went out to parties with friend Sam. The room smelled of cologne, then a chilled breeze would enter the room and leave again. Only a car rolling away would signal to me that I was alone once more. A sting of pain swelled up in my chest I brushed it off quickly, got dressed and went out into the night.

The night was cool and the moon was rising, the smell of tar and the heat of the road of the rain before gave off an ominous fog. The though of following them, which was so strong when I left our house, only felt stupid as I walked along the road feeling evermore alone. The bar up ahead where Tom and I met was just ahead. I slid my hand to the brass doorknob and pulled. I sat down and ordered myself a drink. I began to sink with every bubble, and sip of the liquor. Feeling the warmth of the drink slitter down my throat. After awhile I was tired of being alone so I got up and left. The night felt damp and cold. My legs felt like they were on the sea. I swayed back and forth I put my hands out to catch myself. Instead I stumbled and fell onto the pavement.

Soon enough arms were around me. They helped me to my feet I tried to find my manners but they escaped, like my dignity as the liquor took over. It was like I was underwater I had never had this experience except for on my wedding night, when someone advised me the night would go much easier if I wasn't so tense. I heard a deep voice in my head and from what I could tell he had no clue who I was. He asked if he could escort me home. So we walked. His arm steading my body as we went along. We walked along the road that brought me to the bar and talked the whole time. I giggled like a child. I was fascinated with his quick remarks and his blue eyes. There is something about when the rain hits the road. He took my hands then. I felt my body swaying, and soon enough we were dancing right there underneath the streetlight. We stopped my eyes caressed his face up to his blue eyes.

"Thanks for rescuing me"

"I'll rescue you anytime, darling. Just tell me when and I'll be there"

He kissed me on the cheek and his lips lingered there. I drew back, as if a flame burned me. I closed my eyes once and opened them again. He was staring at my face. Underneath the street lamp of my house I could count the colors in his eyes. I was captivated like a firework show. He leaned towards me and kissed me gently, and pulled back slightly. He had the same blue eyes. I closed my eyes and felt a soft pressure on my lips once more they felt like Toms. I kissed him back with force this time. When I finally withdrew his face looked the same. I invited him inside to get out of the cold, with one beat he was inside. In a blur his face melted together with Toms. I lead him up the stairs. Then everything went a blur. A loud bang of a door startled me, a cry of my name, then a wild rage began. Chairs were thrown. The satin sheets were torn from my body. The one that I lay next to changed. His body didn't feel the same. It wasn't who I thought it was. I saw Tom standing over me. His face in awe as he stared at what I had done. I was so overwhelmed, I sat up and opened my mouth to say something. I searched for words to come. He stormed out the door and I hastily moved after him. I reached for his arm, but he threw me to the ground. He tore down the stairs into his study and slammed the door. I got myself up and ran down after him. I approached the door and I could hear draws being thrown to the ground with loud crashes. My body sank to the ground next to the door as I pleaded for forgiveness.

Sam came in the house as he moved towards the door, the other guy slipped out. Sam lowered down towards me and rested his hand on mine. I drew my hand away from his feeling my back press against the doorframe more. He then without a single word stood up and entered the study. With me still next to the door I could hear them arguing and words were said in hasty powerful accusations. I heard,"GET OUT!" I heard a smash against the door and then it opened once more. I saw Sam flee back into the night. There door was left ajar and I stood, so shaky on my feet. I went into the room and saw Tom standing near the dresser draw. He had something clutched in his hand it was smooth and slick. The way the light was catching, I saw, to my unbelievable eyes that it was a gun. He was searching for something else in the draw. He pulled up a box with twelve shiny gold bullets. He put into the barrel with shaky hands one bullet. His eyes shifted to mine and the room seemed to cave in on itself. I felt cold once more. My heart beat in his chest as I heard the click. He raised the gun up.

"Tom...please"

His hand shook as he raised the gun higher. I breathed a slow gasp, and then I realized what he was doing. He pressed the gun to his temple. My breath picked up again.

"Tom"

I said once more. There was an unbearable pause then his voice came in a childish whimper.

"Please forgive me, please forgive me, I love you Rose I should have loved you more. I should have told you everyday...but now...now..."

"Tom plea-"

"I should have told you"

"You didn't have to"

"NO- I should have told you something along time ago...I was so selfish...I was jealous of all the men that came by you...at events, at the party, when we first met...I knew you loved me or else why would you say yes to marrying me?...but every time men looked at you I couldn't stand it. Instead of cherishing you... I would hide myself away wondering when you were going to leave me...Everything you did...my mind would twist it...Sam looks at you that way..."

His eyes grew dark then.

"...he still does, even after we marry he still looks at you that way...I saw him...that day... you were making breakfast in the kitchen and he came up to you, his hands were wrapped around your waist...I saw the way you were smiling...I told him to stop and leave you alone...I told him...but you see that doesn't matter now does it...because I find you here with someone in our bed...someone that's...that's...I was so consumed with protecting you from all that was close to us but I should have...I should have known..."

His voice stopped then. I could feel my eyes dampen with wet hot tears. His icy blue eyes on mine. I always thought blue eyes were safe, something that villains in movies didn't have. All the villains had dark, black soulless eyes. Not blue, never blue. As I stood there his blue eyes changed from the ones I knew so well, to dark, cruel eyes.

"I love you and no mater what you do, or who you are with I will always love you. You will always be mine. But I can't do it anymore...I can't..."

BANG.

"No one knows what happened that night except when the news was splashed across the front page. The house got destroyed in a 'fire' Then the gossip started...people blamed her, others made worse gossip about her. Either way she will always belong to him...She still loves him, you best keep your distance."

Three years passed by. The slit on my wrist was healed, but the scar remained. I pressed it close to my chest as we rode in the car Sam by my side. My hand tightly held the seat. Sam moved his onto mine and rested it lightly upon mine. He looked at me, but I was looking at the rain that hit the window and streaked down. There was a house that belonged to Tom and Sam by the sea, a little cottage in Long Island. We had a fresh new start just Sam and I. We arrived at the house. The car pulled into a long gravel driveway, with lined poplar trees at either side of us. We went around the round-about and the car stopped just outside the front door. Sam climbed out first and opened my door and we went inside the house. Our baggage was placed in the foyer. I watched as the light passed through the chandelier. The sunset was a deep red with speckles of orangish-yellow.

"Dearest I'm going to step out...I'll be back soon, I'm taking the boat over to the lighthouse across the way"

"Mhm"

The door slammed shut and echoed throughout the house. I made my way through the living room, everything had been covered in white sheets until we got there. The houses atmosphere was warmer and more homely. I found myself staring out a large window. I saw the sharp rocks and then the sea. I watched as Sam climbed into the boat, started the motor, and rowed away. A green blinking across the way caught my eye. I swear I could see our house across the way. I turned from the window and took my bag and a box up the winding stairs. I came upon our room it was a grand old room with boards along the ceiling, and wood floors. A bed sat towards the two big windows to the right of the room. It wasn't much, but it was home. I put my bag on the lumpy, country looking bed and rested the box on the edge of the bed. I turned slightly to the left to get a better look at our room and heard a thud. Startled I turned to find the box of Tom's on the ground the box upside down and the lid off. I picked up the box to reveal a white cloth. I bent down and gingerly reached my hand towards the cloth. What I thought was just fabric turned out to be more than that. There was something inside of it. Something that perhaps was not to be found at all. I picked up the cloth and its belonging only to find that it was heavy and metal. I unwrapped it carefully and my hand went limp. The object crashed to the ground with a loud thud once more. The object that lay on the ground was a gun. Flashbacks of that night reeled in my head. The words said, the bang, the blood, a faint scream, then nothing.

I lifted the pistol. It felt cold in my hands. I lifted it to my temple and felt the cold on my skin. I closed my eyes just as he did. With my finger on the trigger I pressed slowly. I could almost here the gun being loaded, and his voice asking for my forgiveness. And how he said that I was always and forever his. I could see it in my head, like a movie. I closed my eyes.

I pulled the trigger.

BANG.

Then everything went black.


End file.
